Love Short Hair

I have really enjoyed my short hair cut! Everyone I see seems to love it. Your earrings really show more with short hair. I find that I am wearing different earrings that I barely wore in the past. Unfortunately the time with my hair is fleeting. I am afraid to brush my hair. Each time I run my fingers through my it I have about 20 -30 hairs in my fingers. I will probably have Mark shave it off on Wednesday... How fair is it for a woman to loose both her breasts and hair at the same time? Actually I do have small breasts forming and have another appointment tomorrow. I am growing by the week! I did pick up my wig and was loaned two others from a fellow member of this club. Watch out, I might have different personalities when I wear different wigs. This could be fun. Also, won't have to shave my legs for the next few months. Now that is a positive side effect from chemo.

Finished the book I was reading about Julia Child. I really enjoyed it. I like biographies, love food and love France so how could I go wrong. I remember Julia Child's unique laugh and watching her do food demonstrations on TV. Now we have the Food Network and all those cooking competitions. I think she started it all. And she didn't publish her book until 1961 when she was (I think) 49 years old. Then her career took off. Evidence that there is still a lot to look forward to for all of us who continue to celebrate life after 50. "My Life in France" by Julia Child and Alex Proud-homme. (By the way... is the proper way to cite a book with underlines? I can't seem to figure out how to do that in the blog so it will have to be quotes.)

Now I have moved on to another famous chef, Alice Waters. "Alice Waters and Chez Panisse" by Thomas McNamee. One of the first art works that Mark and I purchased was a print designed by friends of ours for Chez Panisse in 1982. It still hangs in our house today. I think Alice had a poster designed for the restaurant every year. Some of my fellow Berkeley friends might remember if this is right. Not that we frequented her restaurant. I remember going once. But according to the introduction of the book, she really got things started with "fresh, local, seasonal and possible organic ingredients". Her restaurant is credited as the most "influential" restaurant in the U.S. I look forward to this read. My book club is reading "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell ("The Tipping Point"). Mark, Calvin and I all read it over the Christmas holidays. Definitely a worthwhile book.

Obviously I am trying to focus on things other than my hair. I could talk about "chemo brain"... a term used to describe the mental cloudiness experienced during chemo. I am a bit more forgetful, but trying really hard to stay on top of my game. Please forgive me if I do forget something important... its all part of this ride.

Hair Cut Day

I had been advised by many to cut my hair short so that when it starts to fall out (and I shave my head) it is not such a shocking change. I am sure it still will not be any fun at all to have chunks of hair falling out ... but I have always wanted to see what I would look like with short hair so what the heck. I had a friend's niece come to the house and voila! here is the new me. I haven't had short hair since about 4th grade. It feels weird not to have anything hanging on my neck, almost like I am missing something. But kind of fun...
"cute and sassy" as described by my friend Julie. Mark even said he liked it... and he is the one who always loved my long hair. Well, another new experience. Aren't I having fun!

Last week I did feel pretty darn crummy from the chemo. This week I feel much better except for the expanders. My body is not reacting well to them. I have an appointment for a "pump up" on Friday and will discuss with the plastic surgeon then. In the meantime Hi to you all!

Would You Recognize Me?

Casey and Jaime / Poison

Chemo #1

I am done with my first round of chemotherapy. I was the "New Patient" that day so got a lot of attention at first. The appointment was for noon on Monday but due to a respiratory emergency with another patient we didn't start until about 1:45pm. A bit late and we were hungry, waiting to get settled until we started eating the yummy lunch my friend Casey picked up for us. You get your own little area with a curtain for privacy, tv and extra chairs for visitors. Once they got me hooked up with the IV the fun began. First I got an anti-nausea drip for a while, followed by benadryl and tagamet. There may have been something else in there too. This is all to help you tolerate the poison that drips in next. When the nurse comes to connect the chemo drip he put on the hazardous materials suit. Really, not a joke, I have a photo to prove it. A mask, gown and special gloves. He certainly doesn't want to get this stuff on him. I actually could feel the chemo drug when it first entered my system and Casey told me I was turning beat red. But after a minute the sensation passed and the rest went fine. I am on two chemo drugs - Pactitaxel also called Taxol and Cyclophosphamide also called Cytoxan. I had heard about the dreaded "red" chemo drug but thankfully I don't have to have that one. I have a case manager, Heidi, another wonderful medical professional who came to visit with me. She reviewed all the drugs I am taking (I have a basket full at this point) and all the potential side effects from chemotherapy. She kept telling me that the benadryl would make me fall asleep and snickered at the Scrabble game Casey brought along for us to play. That was almost a challenge to me so I made Casey get the game out. Thank god I convinced her that it wouldn't be fair to keep score... she graciously agreed. She is the Queen of Scrabble. It was unbelievable. I really have some work to do if I ever want to try to be a challenge to her. Mark was there for most of the time - he tried to get her to explain some of her Scrabble strategies and Laurie came for a visit. At some point during all this another visitor was helping his friend on a chemo drip to the restroom and the visitor had a heart attack. All hell broke loose. "Call 911", "Get the Oxygen", and they were using the paddles on this elderly man over and over again. Lots of the staff checked in on the rest of us to make sure we were not getting too freaked out. We were all convinced he didn't make it until Heidi called yesterday to see how I was and to tell me this man was doing well in the hospital. Don't even know the guy but what a relief. She also made sure to tell me that Monday was not a normal day at the infusion center, it's usually much calmer.

I was exhausted on Monday went I got home. Long day at the infusion center. The past two days my body has just been very tired and achy like a bad flu. My expanders hurt a lot for some reason. I didn't sleep at all the first night and not much better on Tuesday night due to some of the medications I am on. But so far the doctor 's preventative measures have kept me from spending the day next to the toilet. Lucky so far. It might change with each subsequent treatment. I watched "Breakfast at Tiffanys" today and I don't think I have ever seen that whole movie. That was a treat. 

From the bottom, the Jennifer Aniston look, Mom from tv show John and Kate plus 8 (says Calvin) and someone who looks like me in short, brown hair!

Shopping for Hair

In the chemo world they tell you to go get your wig before you loose your hair. That way you can find something that comes close to matching your color, styling etc. (That isn't important if you want spiky hair with purple highlights... which I told Mark I was considering.) My doctor looked me straight in the eyes and told me that I would begin to loose my hair two weeks after my first treatment. Since I might not be feeling too well next week I started to panic about getting a wig. Carol Michael (member of the breast cancer club) came to my "Emotional Rescue" and took me on Thursday to Wigs R U. I hope and pray that none of you ever have to go there. But I'll let you know that the women who work there were so great! Understanding, sympathetic and they really know their merchandise. I sat down in a chair in front of a mirror to start the trying on process. I was on the edge of loosing it... again. I shed one tear about this unbelievably crappy (edited) situation I am in and then looked at Carol and knew she would make it fun. The women let me try on different looks, even ones I knew I would never pick. You pick the color like you would paint chips or wood chips from a ring. She just held up the swatches to my hair, but knew all along it would be number 16-22. We laughed so hard my chest hurt. Carol decided she needed to take some pictures to share with our husbands (who at the time were in a bar) and the quality of her iphone photos are surprisingly good. I decided I must share a few... I did order a wig - the Denver - which will be ready next week. Apparently you go in and they trim it up for you if you want... I also might buy a ponytail that I can wear with hats. It's not a full wig and much cooler in the summer I imagine. The wig I ordered is not shown below... What do you think of these?