Second Email - January 15, 2009

Hi Again,
Thanks for all your messages via phone and email, notes, cards, etc. I  
Iove hearing from you. I love running into you around town and on the  
parkway. I can't possibly respond to everyone but do know that I  
appreciate your thoughts.
I had an MRI on Wednesday morning. It's a good thing Mark went with me  
because when they offered to give me valium I needed a driver to get  
me home.
I didn't think I wanted anything to calm me down... thought I could  
handle it fine... but for those of you who have had an MRI, it's  
noisy, you have to remain completely still for long periods of time,  
it can be claustrophobic and just scary in general because of where I  
am.
So, why not take something to relax me. They hook you up to an IV  so  
they can inject some dye in you towards the end of the process.  
Someone asked me if its a warm feeling surging through your body when  
they inject the dye... I didn't feel a thing. The valium made me so  
relaxed, except for the noise, I almost fell asleep. That was a good  
decision!
They told me 4 days to get the results. YUCK...
I went to the bay area yesterday (Thursday) to do some fun stuff with  
my new job. It was a great distraction and I had a blast modeling the  
new spring line. (Clothes are wonderful!) Later in the day the doctor  
called with the MRI report. (Quick turnaround!) Good and bad... The  
right breast is clear. The lymph nodes don't seem swollen. But there  
is a lot more going on in the left than we originally suspected.  
Another lump, other cancer stuff in between. It looks like one of the  
lumps has grown into the chest muscle a little bit. Will one of your  
kids please study science and then find out what causes this and a way  
to catch and cure it earlier??? The nurse told me this has probably  
been growing in me for 5 years or more.
So, since there is so much more going on in the left breast, for the  
first time she (the doc) suggested that I might think about having a  
bilateral mastectomy. (I didn't even know how to spell this word until  
I wrote you that email a few days ago.) Not sure that leaving me one  
would have made me any happier... not removing it will might be a  
cause of worry and lots of tests to watch it over the years. And they  
say that if you have both done then the fake ones match better and  
will never sag... I will be 80 with perky breasts (most of yours will  
really be sagging by then) ... that's not a bad thing to look forward  
to. (For the men on this email list... you will just have to realize I  
am not speaking to you directly at times.) So I have lots to think  
about.
Won't know about radiation or chemo treatments until after surgery.  
They do more pathology tests and look at the lymph nodes then. I would  
love to avoid chemo but of course will do what needs to be done!
In the meantime I was able to set up appointments with two plastic  
surgeons for Monday. It was Monday or February ... Monday is perfect.  
As soon as I pick my plastic surgeon we can then coordinate a surgery  
date.
I feel like I am living someone else's life right now. Kind of moving  
along in a haze at times. And when people ask me how I am I really  
don't know how to answer... considering what I am going through I  
think I am doing ok. I am really looking forward to watching the  
Inauguration and all the festivities leading up to that. Calvin and  
his room mate will be seated in the audience which is very exciting.  
We know a number of other people who will be there too. It's a great  
diversion for me and a very exciting time for everyone else.
Keep in touch!
Love you all
Jaime